Day 8 in the NICU = Great News

Day eight in the NICU has been the best day for our family. Payson had a huge hole in her heart and now it is gone. God took care of the hole in Payson’s heart. No one else could have done this. The dr’s are so amazed about how great Payson is doing. I’m so honored that God is taken care of my baby and showing us how much of a miracle man he is. I am reminded of a verse Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me”. Well for Daniel and I this verse says it all. We have a difficult time everyday moving on and adjusting to life without Rayleigh and taken care of Payson on. However God is with us every single second and he is making us stronger every single day. Please continue to pray for Payson, Daniel and I will be ok we want God to focus on our baby and not us. Thank you again and we love each and every one of you.

Baby Rayleigh and Baby Payson

I will never forget October 6^th 2011 for the rest of my life. Rayleigh Grace Smith was born and passed away on this day. This was the most horrifying day of my life. I have never been so scared. We will never get over this. We are not sure why this happened to us, and I’m sure we will never understand why. But Daniel and I are getting through and dealing every day. This really hurt our family to lose such a beautiful little princess. Rayleigh sacrificed herself for her little sister. No one will ever love Payson like Rayleigh loved her. No one will ever know Rayleigh like Payson did. I have a hard time talking about Rayleigh and I really have not dealt with losing her just yet. I miss that baby more and more every day. I know she is in a better place and I know I should never wish her back from Heaven. God must of needed a sweet little angel so he had to take her back to heaven.  Than on October 12^th Payson was ready to join the world. Payson is fighting so hard for her life right now. We have to fight with her and for her. We need a lot of prayers to get through the next few weeks. Please pray hard for baby Payson. God is in control and we want him to show up and show the doctors he is a miracle man.

Dear Rayleigh,

I carried you for 23 weeks and three days. I felt you kick and move around. I did not get to meet you face to face. I am so glad God took you to heaven so you did not have to feel any pain. Your dad and I love you more than you will ever know. Payson loves you even more. Thank you for taken care of your sister. I will see you soon one day. I hope papal Ed is taken good care of you and not teaching you to many silly things.  I love you Rayleigh and I hope you get the kisses I send up to heaven for you.

Love Mommy

God as truly blessed me with a Miracle

Iui success rate is only around 28 percent of working. It was with all of our prayers and your prayers that helps our very first time with this to work. We went to the doctor they said everything looked great so far. I cannot wait to see our ultra sound. The doctors also said it may be twins. What would we do with two babies lol. So we still need a whole of prayers. Thank you so much for praying and ill keep everyone updated.

Doctors Appt = Great News

The appt went great. My body is working wonderful. When we went today we all ready had three eggs. The nurse said we probably could do it the old fashioned way, but still might not work. Daniel and I decided to still do the iui. We are going to take the hcg shot tomorrow night around eight, and then on Tuesday we go for the iui. Please pray we have a healthy baby, and no more than two lol. Daniel cannot handle more than two babies at a time and neither could I lol. Today I just wanted to thank God right in the doctors room. I went out and was doing a happy dance and defiantly Daniel was making fun of me. This long road is just beginning and I cannot wait to see what next month brings.  I cannot wait to be a mother and I cannot wait to spend Mother’s day with my child one day.  I want to also say Happy Mother’s Day to all moms and to all the wonderful Aunts who are just like a second mom. Happy Mother’s Day

Thank you everyone for all your prayers!

Waiting on Saturday to get here ....

We have been waiting on Daniels test results to come back. I have been so worried about them. I really did not think I could handle another setback. But GOD is fully in control Daniel counts are above average. I’m so thankful for God and how he is blessing us right now. Our ultra sound is at ten Saturday morning. We will see if this surgery and round of medicine will have caused me to ovulate. If they didn’t I will get a shot of HCG and if you ever have to have hcg let me know I’ll give you a number to call and you can get it for sixty dollars. That’s the cheapest you can get it.  I’m so excited to know I’m one step closer to being a mother. I have really trying to not think about the entire negative, but it’s still there. Going through this at such a young age I think is even harder. I also think its very hard for people who are older going through this. Well stay tuned for Saturday and we see what the doctors say. Please keep us in your prayers

The big day is going to be here in one Week

The big day is so close I can taste it, and the nerves are setting in. OH the big day for our first appt is May 7^th next week, and God is so great. That we neither one have to miss work for it. This day is on Saturday. And hopefully only iui is May 7^th 2011.  I know God has a plan, and I try not to think negative. But hey I’m human. I am so nervous to feel so positive to get a big letdown. This is when I need God the most. When I’m scared and nervous only God can bring back all my courage.  When I’m thinking likes this I think of the bible verse

But my God shall supply all your need accoring to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus
Philippians chapter 4 verse 19

The big word in this verse is all . God will supply all my needs. I know a baby is not a need to some people,  but for me I have dreamed of becoming a mother my whole life. When the doctor tells you your body is not working, and going to have a hard time getting pregnant your whole word shatters. I was in depression. But now God has brought me back and I’m going to let him do all his work. He will supply for my needs and all your needs. If we just put our faith in him…. So please pray for May 7^th to be a great day and for us to have a baby on the way.

Wonderful World of Side Effects

Everything in life usually has a side effect. When taking medicine or even down to making a decision. There are a million of side effects that can go on during my walk to motherhood. The first big side effect is the hurting on our pocket.  Daniel has been working so hard for us to be able to go down this road. I could never do anything to show him how much I appreciate the hard work he has put in. We have all ready spend about three thousand in unsuccessful tries, and we still have a lot more appts to go. God tells us he will never give us anything we cannot handle. I know God is just waiting for the correct time to send us our baby. But we need all the prayers we can get, because we have only enough saved for two round of iui and you have to pay up front. NO PAYMENT PLAN!! I feel like I’m a burden to my husband because he has to go through all of this with me, and work twice has hard to help me.

                The second side effects are the medicine. Seriously one minute I love the world. The next minute I’m ready to kill someone. Then here comes the rain. I cry over everything. The least little things make me cry. I could not find a shoe for Daniel and I cried for thirty minutes about the lost shoe. The medicine makes you feel like you’re going crazy, and it makes me get on my own nerves so I can imagine what Daniel is feeling.

Side effects to be prepared for it cost a lot. The second thing is go ahead and tell everyone you’re sorry for your actions up front. Especially your husband, trust me you will be telling him your sorry a whole a lot. Always carry tissues that’s a must.  Lastly talk about how you feel to yourself or write things down. Do not keep stuff bottled up, because the bottle will pop. I feel like I’m always begging God for a baby, but God is always listening to me go on and on and on.

Why fertility?

Everyone wants to know why we had to choose this route. I have PCOS. That is short for polyitics ovarian syndrome. A round a million women live with this each day. About three fourths never have a problem out of this. I guess I’m in the twenty five percent that does have the problem. The pcos cause my body not to ovulate. I have all ready done seven rounds of clomid (medicine to make you ovulate).  The ob doctor suggested we see a fertility specialist. We made our appt with Dr. Doody.  He is one of the best in the world. He is really a great doctor. He did give me hope. With God and Dr. Doody on my side I just know we will have a baby soon. The first thing we had to do is get about sixty different blood test ran. Praise the lord that’s one thing Daniel insurance covers!!  Then he sent me for a surgery.  People ask me sometimes, “How do you know God is working”? Well the truth is the surgery was supposed to be a six week wait time frame to get to see the doctor. O by the way when doing fertility treatment you do a whole lot of waiting. God is teaching me patient right now. Anyways the nurse came in and she said “How about we do it in two weeks, someone cancelled”. Right then I knew Daniel, and I had done what God wanted us to do.  Now we are four weeks after surgery and ready to start our first IUI treatment. We are so excited for the day to come to get to do our first round. It did take a lot of praying. I think about it every single minute of my life, and to be honest I almost drive myself crazy, but I have turned it over to God and I know God will provide us with a healthy baby. Keep reading to find out when our big day comes to start.

All about Daniel and I

My name is Velissa Smith. I’m married to my soul mate.  God has blessed me so much over my life, and is currently sending blessings my way. He has always been there and provided for me. I’m writing my blog to talk about my road to motherhood. I hope this blog can help anyone or if it just helps me grow closer to God that will be great with me. I really hope it can help someone too.

                It has been a long journey to get where I am today. I got married to Daniel on September 5^th 2009. That was the greatest day of my life. Our journey to have a baby has been very long and stressful for the both of us. However, God said he never promised that the cross would not get heavy and the hill would not be hard to climb. He never offered a victory without fighting, but help would always come in time. With saying this Daniel and I have been up hours and hours of the night talking and praying, and decided to do fertility treatment.  Daniel and I have been trying to have a baby on our own for over and year and with help of little medicine. The doctor said it was time for help. So God has provided us with a great doctor, and a great family for support. Please pray for us and down our long journey we have ahead of us.